50 Shades of Brown

Well, Hello there. I don’t agree with you but I don’t hate you.  An interesting concept right now in America. I am not going to go down a political diatribe with this article.  I want to talk about getting back to friendly debate and discussion. 

For many years now, I have been frustrated by the lack of intelligent and friendly debate. Too many people choose to shout opposing viewpoints down, dive into personal attacks, instead of standing on the issues.  And this is just social media and the average person on the street; politics are 10 times more vicious.

3 beautiful friends of mine (one has passed sadly) all had strong opinions.  They are always blunt with me (I love that trait by the way) and we don’t always agree. But all three loved to try to convince me of their side of whatever was being discussed by facts.  They were passionate about it, but in the end, they remained dear friends, as opposed to losing our friendship because we didn’t agree.

Too often now we see polarization in America.  Left or right.  The 2 extremes seem to be dictating the mood and dialogue for society.  Friendships, business partners, even family seem willing to go down this road.

For me, I finally saw the light in 2012.   Before then, I was playing the whole “Let’s be political on Facebook and say anything to be right” game. That year, the doctors discovered I had cancer.  After my first surgery, I was at a class/school reunion.  Somehow, I started talking with a woman I had gone to school with from 4^th grade through college.  She was now a nurse and an absolutely amazing human being.  She had a similar situation, and we bonded. She was so kind to me; I’ll never forget her.  In the years leading up to this, we had disagreed on politics.  I remember thinking at the time what an absolutely stupid thing I almost did.  She is a fabulous person, kind, and highly intelligent and I almost allowed a difference in opinion to come between us. That was when I decided to never allow a difference in opinion to cloud my actions or beliefs.  Thank you, my friend.

Let’s look at American politics for a moment.  George W Bush and Barack Obama.  These two Presidents had very different ideas on how America should be governed. Did you know that even though they appeared very opposite, that their families have become close friends? What do they share that made them so close?  Both families refused to dive into personal attacks on each other. Both families were kind and gracious to each other during the transition between presidencies. Both families only wanted what was best for America.

For those of you from my generation or older, do you know the story of President Ronald Reagan and Speaker of the House Thomas “Tip” O’Neill?  These two had completely opposite views on how to run our country.  They were opposite parties, often butting heads on legislation and policy. When Ronald Reagan was shot, and laying gravely ill recovering in the hospital, Tip O’Neill came to the hospital to pray with Reagan, and talk with him, and keep him company. As I was researching this (yes, I research), Tip O’Neill was crying as he held Reagan’s hand. This began a friendship that lasted until they both passed away.  What did they have in common?  Decency and wanting what was best for our country.

I’d like to briefly bring this into focus for you.  Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.  In the climax of the movie, Obi-Wan and Anakin battle on Mustafar.  Leading up to the duel though, is some amazing dialogue between them.  Anikan is arguing how he is bringing peace and order to his new Empire.  Obi-Wan is standing up for democracy and the Republic.  Anakin states, “If you are not with me, then you are my enemy” and then Obi-Wan’s famous line “Only a Sith deals in Absolutes”.   

Very few things in our world are Absolutes.  Death, taxes, gravity and flat tires are high on that list (not fond of any of those).  Political viewpoints do not need to be at all.  Friendships and family are not worth sacrificing over those viewpoints.

I’m going to wrap up with my own views.  I’m fairly moderate if you haven’t guessed by now.  Growing up and in college I remained so.  After college I swung one direction pretty hard.  I remained that way until probably 2012.  Cancer and a kind friend helped me see where my true priorities were.  I hope that you, my reader, don’t take as long as I did to see what is plainly in front of us, that it is ok to disagree with someone, and still like them as a person afterwards.